June 13, 1999
Sunday

Antisocial

Oblivious to the rest of the journalling community for the past week or so, I am rampaging through my usual routine of daily drivel and coming up with nothing but blanks. The skill with which I once wove webs of gossamer that would sheath the imagination and lift the spirit to the ephemeral is apparently gone, maybe blanked by the same virus that attacked all our servers on Friday.

Yes, the Explore.Worm.Zipped virus attached itself to an E-Mail from one of our suppliers and found itself into our system. The "user" had put the file on the server and then unzipped it, thereby demolishing several days of work from our department. Friday, needless to say, was a write off. Saturday, sometime between 5am and 6am I was back at the hospital moving servers from the 8th floor to the basement, testing and remirroring in time to get to Cynthia's house by 9. An hour or so of cardio at the gym and then back to the office for more testing.

I did see J as I was fetching my keys from my car. We had passing comments in the parking lot, but I am afraid she is not going to turn out to be my type. No romantic inclination, you see. No drive for affection, no expression of interest. That, coupled with the refreshing news that she is, seemingly, available to all. It is good news in a way, you see it was really taking it's toll, pursuing a person who is not naturally free with their attraction and the display of their emotions. I don't think she was that into the idea anyway, only to the extent that she apparently thinks I make a good living. Humph. Good news is usually easier to swallow.

Had a quasi-date this morning. A breakfast rendezvous if you like with K from the 8th floor. Picked her up outside her apartment and went to the Boulevard Club for a light breakfast and some nice conversation. She seems like a very pleasant girl, we had a lot of things in common and I really enjoyed our time together. No judgment at this point, just that we got along well enough that it was relatively painless. Enough for a second? I don't know.

So I am beating a hasty retreat from my work where I seem to have been spending most of my time. I had to nap today to catch up, I missed out on going to the Docks with Cynthia and her friends. However, I may be going to Red Lobster tomorrow with two friends from Whiskey and that will be in lieu of my planned date with J. Replaced before the first step, it's always the best way. Nip it in the bud, right?

So what have I done? I burned a couple of music CD's, watched the Grand Prix and did a little grocery shopping. It's now 6:30 on Sunday and I am regretting not going to the Docks. Even though I have a million things to do here, it would have been nice. On the phone I admitted to Cynthia that I need to get out more, and so, at least for this week, I shall endeavor to be a better social animal. No Hooters girl again today, I think it may have been partially my fault this time, but in accordance with my plan, I shall go out with her one evening this week instead.

Anti-social? I try not to be, but it's hard.

Cynthia caught me in my own trap when she commented that if she had been M (Stairmaster girl) asking me, I would have been at her house in ten minutes flat. She had me there, I couldn't exactly deny it. However, not to be outdone by my own irrationality, I declined and napped.

I have spent the rest of the night debating true love and that "thing" we feel, that click that ties us to the people who are destined to be significant in our lives. It seems that everywhere I go I am talking about this, I guess that those who are mentally alike tend to be drawn together by like minds and experiences. I answered a survey recently sent out by Dan and one of the questions referred to what we thought of as the most significant invention of our lifetimes. I believe that I and indeed most people said it was the Internet. This evening is another time I have had a chance to stimulate my creative juices, talk with wonderful, talented people around the world and touch base with my friends all from the comfort of my home. Where else would I have the opportunity to meet with so many different and amazing people? I have to say, I love the Internet.

Oh, and as for the click, it can happen digitally too, you know...

 

 

"Perfik!"

-H.E. Bates, The Darling Buds of May (Pa Larkin)

 

 

Taken from August 1998. I miss my friends. I never thought I would miss people in this way.

"We had some times together. Leanne was best friends with Marlene, a blonde Italian I dated in my last year at Saugeen in UWO. Marlene was Piscean, like me, and I was unfortunately caught between my desire for her and another Italian named Connie. It was a mess, but I digress. There had never been anyone who had bought me a cake with sparklers on in a restaurant except my family, but Leanne and Mike did. I remember one Sunday going to Captain John and Suzy Wong's to see if Mike and I could eat our age in pancakes. I think Leanne beat us both. They were a cute couple, although except for the rumours they never got together as such. We were friends. They were also small, both 5ft and a half or so, both lean runners, and me, the weightlifter. We were an odd threesome, but we laughed, we shared our lives completely, we ate, slept and rollerbladed together, but most of all, we were good to each other."

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