June 29, 1999

Turning the corner

I feel like I have been swallowed whole by the passions of another. It is a curious feeling unlike any other I have experienced. I am searching my mind for ways to express the desire, the emotions, the flagrant confusion I feel when confronted by the gems of beauty laid upon my pillow by my Princess, the Angel who has captured my heart. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by people, not just my Auburn Warrior, but also my wonderful, dear, sweet Butterfli without whom I  would not be on my adventure with Sati, discovering what it is to believe completely in my own mortality. I am, quite possibly, the luckiest man alive.

I have to pause and reiterate that this year started in the worst possible way and I was convinced, for the first 5 months, that 1999 was going to be quite possibly the worst year to date. How wrong I was.

My pain is subsiding and I feel that by tomorrow I shall be back to my regular self, planning my MC duties for Lynn's wedding this weekend and looking forward to the time when I can take 3 days and head for Western New York in search of my Damsel In Distress. (Well, hardly in distress, but maybe in old jeans and a t-shirt...)

I really managed to freak everybody out with yesterday's Jekyll and Hyde impersonation. I guess there were things that I wanted to say, but in retrospect trying to make a patchwork quilt out of newspapers and cardboard isn't going to happen. Let's just treat it as an anomaly and get back to reality...

"There's no more to say

So save your breath and walk away..."

-Cher, Strong Enough



Taken from January 1999. I am still in awe of the effect other people's writing has on me.

"This matters. It matters now and it means something now. I won't recall the emotion when I read this. The feeling will evade me months or years from now, but like the drunk who only makes sense to himself I am, at this moment, significant in my evaluation."




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